‘But it’s just not WORTH it!’

I can’t count how many times I’ve had women in tears of frustration, or guilt, or exhaustion, saying that to me.

It’s true that returning to work after having children can be one of the most emotionally complex and financially fraught decisions a parent—particularly a mother—can make. For many, the numbers don’t add up. Quite literally. By the time you’ve paid for childcare, commuted, and accounted for the logistical strain, it might seem like you’re working for little or no financial gain. And yet, for many, walking away isn’t the right answer either.

I recently worked with someone who ran the numbers and realised that the cost of childcare meant she was £180 worse off at the end of the month, and that was without affording herself a much-needed treat like a £5 London coffee. On paper, returning to work made no sense, but as she said, ‘I want to work, I love my job, but this is so hard!’. But she decided to return anyway, because she believed in playing the long game and the value it gave her beyond immediate financial reward.

Financial considerations are very real, and for many of us, they are the most urgent. Whether you’re the main breadwinner or contributing to a shared financial pot, your earnings often go straight into keeping the wheels turning. But when those finances are stretched to the limit by the high cost of childcare, it’s essential to step back and consider the bigger picture.

That bigger picture includes not just your financial future but, your identity, your career progression, your skills, your personal fulfilment, and the powerful example you’re setting for your children. We often talk about “leaning in” or “having it all,” but the truth is much more nuanced and personal. What really matters is understanding why you work and using that clarity to sustain you through the tough moments.

I call these personal motivations “ground zero truths.” They’re the internal compass points that guide you when everything else feels off course. For some, it’s about growth, challenge, or creative expression. For others, it’s about independence, legacy, or being a role model. These motivations aren’t static. They evolve as you do, as your children grow, and as your work shifts in meaning and impact.

When you hit the days which see your teething baby is crying for you not to go to work, or your child pleading with you to be at his football game, when you have a rubbish meeting where you didn’t feel you performed well, and it’s cold and raining and then the train gets cancelled; those are the days you have to dig deep and remember why it’s worth it for YOU. I can count a hundred times when I had to stern words with myself along the lines of ‘yes, today was RUBBISH, but it is true for me that I want to work, so I am going to go home, get some sleep and tomorrow will be another day’.

If you’re grappling with whether it’s “worth it” to stay in the workforce right now, I encourage you to get clear on what your ground zero truths are. Take stock of the intrinsic and extrinsic factors that matter to you. Write them down. Rank them. Revisit them when you’re questioning everything after a hard day, a bad meeting, or a childcare crisis.

Staying in the workforce—even when it feels like a financial wash—is often an investment in your future self. The promotion you’ll qualify for, the network you’ll stay connected to, the sense of agency you’ll maintain, an independent financial future—all of these accumulate in ways that don’t show up on this year’s spreadsheet, but matter immensely down the line.

It might not always feel like it, but staying in the game is often the most powerful long-term move you can make. Hold on, keep going, this too shall pass, you’ve got this.